chebamau: nano blowin a soul bubble (Default)
2023-05-20 11:20 am
Entry tags:

this time, with feeling

 i don't have big plans for this. as i ramp up into my 30s, chugging along with all of the tears i've shed in therapy, i realize i long for somewhere to muse, to wonder, to gather my thoughts outside of an emotional journaling session. there's just a different energy that goes into blogging.
 
i remember reading my sister's blog posts when i was young. i idolized her, wanted to embody her thoughts and soul because--well, that's how you feel when you idolize someone, right? a couple years ago, it ended with me hating her guts. as of recently, i understand it's because i was finally realizing who i really was.

and so, in traditional SEA fashion, i have chosen a dessert from my culture as an alias, a little piece of my past to keep me tethered on my journey, something to hang on to and reshape as needed. i may be emotional, i may be hypocritical, and i may just talk a lot of nonsense about things i like. i may wax poetic over things others already know, or things people wholeheartedly disagree with.

but it's for me. and that's what i want.

as for an intro? i'm just an invertebrate (of the nudibranch variety) cruising the ocean of life, stopping by on some coral for shelter and to watch. i have grown up very critical over nothing, defensive in the face of love, and distant while craving closeness. i write and draw fanworks, but have always had an interest in original stories and character design. i may share some OCs and story ideas i have for them, since in the past i've been hesitant to share on social media as it feels like anything i post becomes lost to time almost as soon as it goes up.

so if you're interested in what i have to say, whether genuinely or ironically, please, feel free to tune in!