do you remember the 30 days of september?

 i think i floated through most of them. bobbing, floating on top of the water that carried me as it willed. i sure did exist for the month of september, through all my constant cycles of ups and down and spinning myself around. it feels like i'm going through the same cycles again, but now with more awareness, and so more determination. that little extra push of "we can still try to do this!" and trusting myself to deem when it is truly unreasonable or not.

the theme now is to not back down so easily, i guess. to really get into the nitty gritty. but lemme tell ya, they dont call it nitty gritty for nothing!

inktober is here, and i'm spending a fair amount of time planning for it. last year's easy-going doodle goal didn't pan out for reasons i don't remember, so we're back to committing to the bit. and this time with ocs that i was supposed to do a birthday comic for for myself, so, we all win? or something?

i'm still pretty unsure of myself, and i think that won't go away. but i can face it a little better.

i just have to use this fucking brain that gives me such a headache